'Tis The Season!

It's December! I cannot communicate the excitement I am feeling. It's caught me a little by surprise! I've always loved Christmas but the last couple of years I have not been as excited as I usually am, but judging how I feel today I'm making up for those fairly merry years this Christmas! Eeeeek! Normally, it is the season to gorge and wait for New Year to roll around to start fresh, but this year I am taking a fresh approach.  This Christmas is all about looking after myself.  By this I mean, not neglecting self care in the rush and stress of the season.
It's so easy to do, though.  Rushing around getting presents, visiting friends and family whilst trying to keep up with the day to day running of life.  I usually go to the bottom of the list! But this year will be different, I am going to keep myself groomed (which mill keep my other half happy, hehe) and moisturise every other day.  I'll keep my nails done, this is basically the 'girliest' I ever get being a bit of a tom boy.  But most importantly I will eat well and attend my workouts which are in my diary.  I will indulge, but only if I want to and not because it's Christmas or because I feel I should.  I've got two nights out this week and then nothing until Christmas itself.  Hardly enough to put me off track for the whole month.

So, I end this post brimming with positivity and festive joy knowing this month will be awesome!

Merry Christmas!

It's a rollercoaster!

Why is it, that when you start to feel like you're winning, something happens that makes you think you're actually not? What's even more insane is when the very think that has destroyed your positivity isn't a big deal, and is definitely no reason to give in. 

This, I think, is the mindset of the serial dieter. The mindset that has been created by the weight loss industry themselves to keep business booming! Now, I do not consider myself to be a slave to this industry anymore. I do exercise I enjoy, I follow a healthy eating regime that I can do forever and now a crazy fad-diet when I see one! However, because I have previously hoped that SlimFast, diet pills, and restricting calories to the extreme will get me to my dream body in the past, part of my mind is poisoned.  It is going to take a long time to get rid of this but  I feel like I'm slowly chipping away at it.

This morning, I tried my ski pants and they were too big - result! I then tried on some snow jackets when shopping, all in a size small, and they fit me well. This day is awesome! Then, I try size 10 (the next size down for me) in a cut I've not worn before and because they sit right smack on my hip bone I can't even do them up. I was confident I would fit into a 10. But I couldn't. Now, the reason this is stupid to be upset about is because I am a 10 on top and on jeans and trousers that sit above my hip. But due to my pear-shaped body I am still a size 12 for anything that only goes up to my hips.

I know there are so many people who, if read this post, would scream at me 'I'd do anything to be your size!', 'You don't know how lucky you are' etc, etc. But this is exactly my point! The rational part of my brain is telling me this is nothing to worry about, I'm essentially in the final phase because when I can wear size 10 jeans on my hips I consider myself done. But the poisoned part of mind, the part that tells me to get the doughnuts, informs me that this is how it'll always be. Me, standing in a changing room with trousers I can't fasten up. Thankfully, the rational Kimmy is becoming more confident and out spoken, telling evil Kimmy to shut the fuck up and feel the wrath of weights.

The progress I showed is that I did resist two opportunities to eat Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Something that would have definitely comforted me in the past. I did have my support system with me, though. I just need to tell myself I will get there. I've made progress so far, whilst being for from perfect. 

Probably the most important thing I realised today is - no one cares!!! Only I care about what I look like and even if I do wear size 12 snow pants on the slopes no one will at me any differently than if I were in size 10. I do like my shape, so I shouldn't feel disheartened just because my body is doing it's thing! Love your bodies , ladies. Each one is unique and awesome.

I am full of positivity and have a spring in my step today!  Mostly to disguise the fact I look a mess, haha! But you don't care about that.  Last night I lost 1.5 lbs!!!!!! It was a day later than usual, yes, but a loss is a loss.  I use stones and pounds usually when referring to my weight, but I got very excited when I realised that I had sneaked under 150 lbs, weighing in at 149.5 lbs.  Also, I am a less than a stone (14 lbs) away from my first goal! When I get to 9 stone 10 lbs I'll assess how I fell and get my body fat measured etc, to see if I want to get down to 9 stone 4 lbs, the magic number I reached a long time ago, but was only there briefly.  Very briefly..

I got a sweat on as well after my weigh in.  I did an entire Kettlecise class with my 8 kg kettlebell. I am happy and almost proud! I thought I would struggle because I was using a six last time, and despite what anyone thinks, Kettlecise is intense and non-stop.  I get a great sweat and can barely walk for a couple of days after. I even felt strong, and can feel muscles working, which is what I wanted.  I then went home, had my cheat meal of a chippy tea and watched I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! It was an awesome episode and I ate the most beautiful chips, sausage and mushy peas I have ever had.  I think they tasted so good because I had really earned them :)

Delayed weigh in and illness continues

All in all this week has been good.  I tried to do an Extra Easy SP week at slimming world, which roughly translates to having no free foods, only speed foods and proteins.  I've really enjoyed - mostly because you get a second healthy extra B! Woo hoo!  On the flip side I have been fairly ill.  I had the sore throat from hell where I though my tonsils may explode and now I have the cold part, included with puffy eye and runny nostril. Yes, as always, just the one.  I have managed to exercise twice which went well and I'm hoping to be fit enough to do Kettlecise after weigh in tonight

I love kettlebells! Haven't done it properly in ages, so I'll be happy to see how/if I've gotten any better. I'm planning to do the class with an 8kg bell. I'm excited at just the thought of it.  Kettlecise was the first exercise that really changed my body and started me on my weight lifting path.  Not that instead on being a body builder, I just want to be strong with beautifully defined muscles.  That's my dream. To life above average for a woman and look lean doing it.

How did that happen!?!

Ok, so I've just got in from my weigh in and I lost 2.5 lb! So I lost the 1.5 lb I gained last week, and a pound extra! I had no right to either, hahaha!
I'm going to take this, very thankfully, as the week I got away with murder!
The action plan is still in place, people! My diet plan is whirling around my mind and will soon be on paper. I'm excited! Despite my horrendously sore throat. Onwards and downwards 😀

Plan of action?

This week has not gone well. At all. There were yummy birthday celebrations, random fainting episodes meaning I missed a work out, and a positive Saturday morning weigh in! Basically, a very up and down week.  I tried to get back on track the last couple of days, but I very much doubt my Slimming World group tonight will give me a loss on the scale.  But, these are the lessons I need to learn! Life happens! Birthdays! Tragedies! Massive chocolate cravings!

I am trying to remain positive, whatever happens tonight, because I am looking at this as a new phase. The 'Pre-Christmas' Phase. I have written in my diary all the workouts I will complete between now and Christmas.  If I stick to this, I should still be on track! My diet l'll plan week by week, strategising depending on what I have planned during the week ahead. 

I feel positive about this plan, but I am emotionally fragile. The scale tonight could devastate me. I also have an horrendous sore throat, which usually means I'm going to be ill for the next week. This is NOT part of my plan. 

Fingers crossed. Wish me luck!

The journey is never a simple one.

I always find it amazing how success stories never include all the struggles that person must have gone through to get to their goal.  I've been attending a slimming world group for about 6 weeks and the first four went slow but well, I managed to lose half a stone, then I gained, which happened at the inconvenient time because I had two birthdays this week and things haven't gone great. So I'm kind of dreading my weigh in on Tuesday, but hopefully will be able to stay the same, if not lose something.  The people who go to the group are very inspiring and all have struggles, some have colossal gains, some seem to get away with dieting murder.  One woman claimed to have eaten five Krispy Kreme doughnuts at the weekend and still lose weight. FIVE DOUGHNUTS!!!! As you can tell by my blog title, that's my nemesis. I love Krispy Kreme.

Based on previous dieting/training program attempts, this is the point where I start to lose it and not really care.  And I've had those thoughts this week.  I've started to think, maybe just clean eating is the way - the way my gym promotes.  I can do it without the support, etc. But this is what I always do.  As soon as I struggle or it seems to get more difficult, I start looking for another solution, instead of persevering on, like the people in the success stories.  I've tried enough times to know that very few people have the dream journey where nothing goes wrong.  But life happens! Celebrations! Tragedies! Temptations! It's recognising these as bumps in the road and moving on, because we'll still get there in the long run.  I've had a few bumps the last couple of weeks, but all my efforts have not been ruined. I've not become the fatty I was before. I do have a large food baby from the curry I have just consumed in honour of my partners birthday, but this will pass and will just carry on.

I will look at the time between now and Christmas as a new phase, another chapter of my journey and see where I get. I'm hoping to be 10 stone 5lb by Christmas. I was 10 stone 10.8lb on my scales yesterday morning, so it's definitely achievable. I've decided to weigh in on my scales on a Saturday morning and then at Slimming World on a Tuesday evening. Let's see if this screws me up this time.

What we all must remember is, that no matter how big your goal is, or how far away it may seem, it's always easier to look at it in manageable chunks. Otherwise we'd all go crazy! So, here's to the beginning of another phase and moving food with delicious food memories.