I have been doing an 8 week clean eating challenge at my bootcamp. There's a cash prize for the best transformation, but that wasn't reason I joined in. I wanted the knowledge of how to get lean and reduce my body fat. I wanted rules! I like structure. I thought, if I'm told what I can and cannot have, I can't fail. I started off well, soon realising that it wasn't all that different to what I had already been doing. The key changes were cutting out wheat, no coffee or black tea with milk, no cow's milk and no dressings. I though the hardest thing would be no tea! Tea defines me. I'm stereotypically english that way. But after 4 weeks with decent results, I thought it would be ok to indulge a little in a buffet to celebrate my manager's 30th Birthday. This was the beginning of it all.
I felt crap after that buffet. Because I felt like crap, I wanted to eat crap. When you say this out loud, or write it down, it sounds completely ridiculous! It's like falling down the stairs, breaking your leg, and then deciding to break the other one! STUPID! But I did it anyway. I then struggled the following week, I developed a bad cold which affected my breathing and concentration, so I missed bootcamp and gym sessions trying not to make it worse. Did I feed my bady good things so it would heal itself quicker? Nah. I had a sore through, so I wanted cereal with milk and soup and toast, mmmmmmmm.
I was starting to feel better by the weekend, deciding I would get my act together and eat right over the weekend and beyond. When I got home Friday evening, I found out my email had been hacked. Stuff had been ordered on my card, they tried to get into my accounts and they even stile my phone contract (I had left my phone at home that day). I was like a zombie for the next 24 hours and in no state to focus anything other than getting things sorted. By Sunday evening, the worst was over and I decided this would not distract me anymore. But, low and behold, I woke up Monday with my cold again. I missed another bootcamp. By Wednesday I was back at bootcamp and the rest of the week was ok. I evwn suprised my on the treadmill at the gym by running at 9km/h, sonething I haven't done for years.
Today I submitted results, basically showing a slight gain on the scale and a lot of inches having returned to my body. I've been annpyed all day, mostly because it was my decisions that caused this, but also because I gave in so easily. When I was making bad choices I knew there were bad! I knew they would set me back weeks, but I did it anyway. I need to learn how to deal with such situations and not lose the plot.
I know this clean eating lifestyle is exactly that, a lifestyle. I know I need to eat this way forever to enjoy optimal health and happiness, so I'm going to let this setbavk ruin the future. I'm commited to going to bootcamp and to the gym regularly. I'm commited to eating clean and developing my nutrition knowledge, and I also an fully aware that I will have bad days, takeaways, evenings out and the odd sausage bap on a camping weekend away. There's a bigfer picture here. If I keeping going, through the pain and the emotional struggles, who knows where I will be. I am a work in progress, and as long as I am progressing I am happy. When I turn 29 in July, who knows what my after picture will look like? I'll be excited to see it.
